well... moral of the story is...

Lesson 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a
towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,
the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give
you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman
drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman
wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the
bathroom, her husband asks,…

"Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes
me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to
credit and risk with your shareholders, in time, you may be in a
position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes
out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish" "Me first!
Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving
a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. "Me next!
Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the
beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and
the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says
to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office
after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 3

A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs,
forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The
nun said,"Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.
But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun
once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized
"Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun
went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to
look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will
find glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


Lesson 4

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked
him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow
answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the
crow, and rested.

A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull "I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the
energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the
bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of
dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest
branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he
reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was
proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a
farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep
you there. Kind of goes against 'What Makes 100%', but hey, it's your
call :)

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying
there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird
lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy,
and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing
and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the
bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
3. And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
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