[Wordless Wednesday] - Anak panda bersin buat mak dia terkujat! hihi

Kalau binatang pandai berfacebook

Kalau binatang ada fb, agak-agak begini lah ya update STATUS binatang
tersebut kat wall diorg

Cicak : Tuan rumah baru beli reket elektrik, gua kenduri nyamuk BBQ mlm nih…

Nyamuk: Baru habis ronda rumah Ajoi… kenyang burp, Alhamdulillah. ..

Aedes : Baru jer selamat bagi injekan maut, yeah!!!

Ayam : Tidaaaaaaaaaaaak, Besok majikan gua mau buat kenduri kesyukuran, gua mau di sembeliiiiihhh! ...

Cicak : isteriku tersepit pintu

Kucing Betina: “Anak i yang ke-5 baru tanya siapa bapaknya. I bingung nak jawab apa. I sendiri lupa bapaknya siapa.”

Ayam : Kawan2…kalu esok gua tak update…bererti gua sudah di goreng….I luv u all… jangan luper wat kenduri arwah untuk gua yaa...

Nyamuk: Siot, sekali drug addict gua hantam daaaa. Gua positif HIV AIDS... uwaaaaaaa

Cicak: Mau ke ke bilik air anak tuan rumah jap … baru beli videocam baru

Kucing: Baru je add awek sebelah umah... keturunan PARSI beb!!!

Tikus: Operasi malam ni... selongkar kitchen kabinet... sape nak ikot?

katak: malam ni nk wat konsert la..da lama x ujan ni..hangat oii..

ular : rasa mcm nk makan lauk telo la malam ni..mana nk cari ek..

Anjing: Aku tension bila ada mat rempit berkumpul tepi rumah aku tiap malam. Nak tido pun x senang hanjeng punya org.

Kuda: Patah kaki; Rider aku bangang salah timing bila nak lompat pagar, sekarang rehat kat kandang.

Kura-kura: Aku sakit hati bila bini aku berjalan. Lembab mcm siput babi

Siput babi: Aku sakit hati bila bini aku bergerak. Lembab mcm kura2

Gagak: Tadi jumpa ayam KFC. Jangan jeles

Burung Kakak Tua: Penat betul nk ubah stigma masyarakat. Walaupun aku Burung Kakak Tua, tapi aku burung Jantan!!!

Babi hutan: susah betul nak cari makanan halal sekarang ni.

Kera: semalam GF aku bagi bunga. Sedap jugak kunyah

Tikus: Aku makan mee goreng mamak kat Al Naz maju@precint 9. Meh la join sekali.

Lalat: Asyik hurung bangkai je. Alhamdulillah hari ni jumpa nasi bungkus.

Sotong: Aku bengang bila tapak sulaiman ejek aku si lembut

kucing: update petang karang tepat jam 5.00pm slow ngendap ala2 pink panther nyurik ikan bawal kepunyaan kak lela majnun. ..

lipas : merasmikan pengunaan kepak baru sekali bila dikembangkn. ...gerun
tengok mmber aku kene tarik dgn jeli2 panjang kepunyaan cik cicak..eee
seram nyeee....

itik serati: hahahhaa lawak2 ayam serama tu ade hati jalan tersengguk2. ....nk tiru aku le tu.. lol....

Ikan laga: Boring sey, duduk sorang2 dalam tanki ni.

Ikan parang: Kurang asam punya manusia, letak gambar aku kat depan bekas keropok

Ikan Jerung: Kenapa x de sorang pun nak add/approve aku. :-(

Ikan Sepat: Terkenang jiran sebelah yang dah dijadikan ikan pekasam. Al Fatihah

Ikan Bilis: Wah ramainya kawan kita. Tahniah remy, ko kawan aku yang ke 5000.

Ikan Arowana: Cantik tak sisik I? Cantik kan ?

Ikan Mas Koki: macam mana nak kurus nie?

Husband of the year awards goes to!!

Imagine that.....

husband of the year awards!!

honorable mention for

The United Kingdom




...followed closely by
The United States of America




and then ...
Poland




but 3rd Place must go to...
... Greece



it was very very close but the runner up prize was a warded to...
Serbia




but the winner of the husband of the year
...is

Ireland!!!
Ya gotta love the Irish.

The Irish are true romantics, look!! he's even
holding her hand.


Woman has Man in it;
Mrs.. has Mr . in it;
Female has Male in it;
She has He in it;
Madam has Adam in it;

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN ?
MEN strual cramps
MEN tal breakdown
MEN opause

AND ..

When we have REAL trouble, it's a
HIS terectomy !!!!

Saya sedut airnya sampai kering

Seorang gadis menjadi pelacur tetapi tidak mahu neneknya tahu.

Satu hari satu gerombolan pelacur ditangkap termasuklah gadis itu. Polis meminta pelacur - pelacur itu membuat satu garisan lurus. Semua beratur. Tiba-tiba muncul nenek tua kepada gadis itu jalan bongkok-bongkok dan setelah melihat cucunya berbaris dia bertanya, “Kenapa kamu berbaris di sini?” Cucu pula untuk menghalang neneknya tahu cerita sebenar telah berbohong dengan mengatakan ada dermawan akan menderma buah orange dan sebab itulah beliau berbaris.

Nenek beredar pergi. Di pertengahan jalan dia teringatkan cucu-cucunya yang lain yang mungkin mengharapkan beliau membawa pulang buah-buahan. Lalu dia pun turut berbaris tanpa diketahui oleh cucunya.

Dia berbaris di belakang. Seorang anggota polis mengambil kenyataan-kenyataan dari gadis yang sedang berbaris itu. Apabila dia sampai untuk giliran mendapatkan kenyataan orang terakhir, dia terkejut kerana tercegat seorang nenek yang jalan pun bongkok-bongkok macam tiada kudrat.

Dia tercengang lalu tertanya, “Kamu tua, bagaimana kamu lakukannya?”

Si nenek (menyangka soalan itu ditanya tentang bagaimana dia boleh makan orange itu) menjawab, “Oh senang je. Aku hanya cabut gigi palsu dan mula sedut sampai airnya kering.”

marriage~

Marriage - Part I

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after
the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and
I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on
table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go
hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old
buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules.
Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that
there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night .........
whether you're here or not."
(DAMN SHE'S GOOD!)

************************************

Marriage- Part II

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells,
"When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "
"Yeah?" she replies.
"When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last"
(HE ASKED FOR IT!)

******************************

Marriage- Part III

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either,"
and storms out of the house.
After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends
and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the
irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"
(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)

******************************************

Marriage- Part IV

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so
proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, Mother of Six"
inspite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go
home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He
shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right
back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
(RIGHT ON, LADY!)

**************************************

Marriage- Part V

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were
giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized
that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM
for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to
break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please
wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why
his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the
bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."


**************************************

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

Why did Chicken Cross The Road?

Y DID CHICKEN CROSS D ROAD??
Lets check What the EXPERTS HAD 2 SAY...

Kindergarten teacher:
To get to the other side.

Computer Programmer:
In order for the chicken to cross the road safely they not only need one driver to access the server farm if not they will hang in the middle of the road.

Aristotle:
It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

Ronald Reagan: (40th President of the United States)
I forgot!!....

Richard M. Nixon:(37th President of the United States)
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

Jerry Seinfeld:(American comedian)
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask,
"What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"

Bill Gates:
I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

Bill Clinton:
I've had so many chicks, I can't remember...

Colonel Sanders:
I missed one?

Dr M:
You know, I am tired of all this... 'apa-nama' chicken-chicken bisnes...
the foreign powers should stop intervening in our domestic affairs and just leave our chickens alone..
if they want to... 'apa nama' cross the road, they should be allowed to cross the road...
Malaysia is a democratic country; we let our chickens do whatever they want to do...
as long as they don't threaten the Malay unity and try to topple the government...
and if they plan to do so... we won't hesitate to use the ISA...

Pak Lah:
Ini semua adalah khabar angin sahaja...jangan percaya khabar - khabar angin ini semua...
biasalah ini adalah taktik pembangkang untuk memecah belahkan perpaduan ayam-ayam
semua... jangan percaya... jangan percaya....

Sammy Vellu:
ayyooyoo... belakang cerita lain kali, kita sude bikin banyak jembatan, itu ayam musti guna jembatan untuk lintas itu jalan lagi pun kalu itu ayam mau pigi jalan-jalan, beritau sama
saya juga, saya bolley buat lebbey banyak toll........

Karam Singh Walia:
Seperti yang saudara dapat lihat, kelihatan ayam-ayam itu sedang melintas jalan, mereka bukan sahaja melintas jalan malah membuang najis di atas jalan dan ini adalah pencemaran Yang paling hebat di maya pada ini. Bapa-bapa dan ibu-ibu ayam haruslah mengambil inisiatif untuk melatih ayam-ayam agar menahan najis sewaktu melintas jalan, sekian saya sudahi dengan.........
Ayam di jalan di lintaskan Ayam di reban mati tak makan.

Zainal Ariffin Ismail
Ada saksi menyatakan yang mereka dapat melihat ayam-ayam ini melintasi jalan-jalan di kampung ini pada waktu malam. Ada yang menyatakan ayam-ayam ini merupakan penyamaran
jin. Dan ada juga mengaitkan ia berkaitan dengan peristiwa silam di kampung ini. Apakah sebenarnya maksud tersirat ayam-ayam ini melintas jalan?
Oleh itu saya akhiri, "Jangan biarkan hidup anda diselubungi misteri........."

Wan Kamarudin:
Ape kejadahnyer ini semua,KL dah jadik reban ayam, mak bapak ayam asyik menganga saje..


**see?! simple situation can be interpret in different ways!! hihi

"JAPLISH" tutorial

di malaysia kita ada MANGLISH kan? Jepun pun sama... thats what we called
"JAPLISH" (Japanese English)


jom layan!!


1. Very difficult to make up what it is about ?




2. Maybe in Japan, there are Males who are not 'Man'





3. Bring ur own tissue....I think





4. Cheese Fair or 'Afraid of Cheese'??



5. They can construct their own WATER.....




6. U jump on the Elevator = Jail ?




7. Japlish "L" is substituted with "R" ... and this is what happens!!!



8. They even have a room for this...



9. U will need a smoke after reading this...




10. The best so far....




**bila kesorangan di opis otak macam ade 'wire' putus! huhu

Edisi siasat : bertudung tapi tidak berbaju.. ape kejadah nya ini?!!

apela nak jadi dengan dunia kita sekarang??



tanak cakap banyak... layan jelah gambar2 tu ye?





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jeng... jeng...jeng....








hikhik






























hihi. jangan marah ha......

larikkkkkkkk!!!!!

dish! dish!

adoi! sape ketuk kepala aku ni?

ala janganla marah...

comelkan aku kucing tu??